i hate u! pls stop reading my blog suami!!! i hate u!! sibuk jek!

it's been a looooonnnnnnnnnng time since my last update.. ahhhhhhhhh.. best nye dpt type ngan laju pakai keyboard baru.. huhu.. b4 bukan tanak update but keyboard tu sgt sengal.. mmg tak sdap type..

so.. bermula laa a new chapter in my life.. i am now a mother of a charming lil' boy and 1 year married to the man i love.. celebrate? tgh pantang so go figure! smue pon tak bleh mkn.. mencik.. pressie? hubby to busy to buy.. sedih kan? until today pon ilek pocik.. me? saba? sgt lah tidak.. tp kawen with this man.. i have to learn a lot to be one..

sepanjang pantang and no updating i've been spending my time bonding wt my baby boy Ayden.. yesh.. his name is Ayden Haiqal.. i call him ayden and grandparents call him Haiqal.. since my blog is no longer a secret blog to my family members.. lantok kan aje ler letak all d real names kan... huahauhua.. anyway,, Ayden dah pon 46 days today.. and me.. dah pon abes pantang 44 hari.. tp ade org kate pantang 100 hari.. takpe.. me still try to control mkn2 smue.. sbb takot tatahan..

ok.. nk cite sni bout my experience melahirkan Ayden.. ;)

5 Oct 09.. went to KJMC for my checkup.. i was then 37weeks.. the truth is.. i never felt the real pain of giving birth.. yes i caeser.. the thing is.. mase check graph heart beat baby.. graph tu showing that i was having a mild contraction.. but.. gua tak rase apapeee!! okkeh! the last part tu je rase sakit.. tu pon skit je.. so lepas check heart beat.. trus ke bilik Dr Fatima.. check2.. Dr ckp ni contraction ni.. so she asked me to lay down on the bed.. aku dh gile seram ni dok bayang die seluk tgn die.. ngeriii ngeeee.. skali check laaa ultrasound.. lagi skali dgr bunyi heart baby yg mcm kude belari tu.. kedekut.. kedekut.. kedekut.. kui3x.. check2.. my waterbag still kurang.. sepatutnye ade dlm 14 tp dlm tu ade 10 je.. yesh.. before this checkup mmg Dr detect waterbag leaking.. i had to tak 2 weeks mc to rest.. and secare tak sengaje cuti raye skali.. muahaha.. bile check baby.. everything ok BUT.. kepale baby mendongak.. which sepatutnye baby menolak servix tp instead die menolak my back.. no wonder i've been having back ache yg amat teruk.. so.. mule laa sesi menyeluk.. mak aih.. sakit buduss btul.. huhu.. Dr ckp servix tak bukak lgsg.. that would be normal laa klu condition biase since baru je 37 weeks.. but in my situation.. i dah ade contraction 4x in 15 minutes.. then waterbag plak leaking.. pastu kepale baby plak dongak.. tambah plak lagi bile scan nmpk cord mcm byk kat leher.. so Dr takut tebelit leher and lagi satu takot baby dah berak which would go to baby's lung and bleh bahaye kan nyawa baby.. but all this tatau.. cord ngan berak tu just assumption je.. IF lambat opertae bleh jadi benda2 tu..

so Dr ckp the best is u have to operate.. u have no other choice.. at them tym rase nk nangis tensyen smue ade.. so i was like.. oklah.. pasrah laa.. dok balik kat kusi.. skali Dr ckp.. we're gonna have it by today ya.. WHAT??? tebeliak mate gue.. HARINI JUGAK??!!! biar betikkkk??? dah laa aritu tak bfast lagi.. trus gi klinik.. call ofc konon masuk lambat.. rupenye tak masuk trus! habes kene ler puase.. maksud nye mmg dr kol 8pm semlm nye laa tak mkn.. mmg lapa gile ler.. mase dok dgn cuak Dr called her assistant.. " XXX, saye bak buat operation kat Pn Fara ni today ye.. i have another patient at 1 o'clock.. so i think i'm gonna block for her operation at 1200 ye.. my jaw dropped.. i looked at the clock on the table.. it was 10.47am.. whaaa?? i'm gonna be in labour in 1hours time??? i'm not ready! ape ni!?? mak aih mampuih aku.. risau gile dat tym.. tgk muke bobo bleh plak relax je.. nodding stuju isterinye di bedah.. tau laa tak sbr nk dodi anak sayang oii.. truk tul!

klua dr bilik tu mmg muke tak hepi lah.. mcm nk teberak jer.. bobo keep assuring me dat everything's gonna be ok.. but.. hello! it's me yg nk kene potong ni.. ofcoz cuak.. then the nurse took me to 3rd floor.. kat tmpt check heart beat tadi.. die kasi baju hospital.. tuka2 kene baring.. die ckp kene shave perut.. huhu.. abes perut ku.. mase tu dok pk je camne laa rasenye nnt.. risau nye kot2 trase tym operate.. ingat takdela azab lain lg.. rupe2nye kne masuk tube kat bwh untuk kencing.. nurse ckp nnt takbleh kencing sndiri sayang.. kene masuk tube.. haha.. mane die tak ckp camtu.. gue terkezut "hah!? kene masuk tube??" huhuhu siap tny die.. sakit tak? huwaa... takot siuttt.. lepas die masuk je (sakit gile ok..) air kencing flow mcm tak hengat.. sentiase klua non stop.. mak aih.. tak selesanye.. tekangkang je cam katak.. then masuk OT.. kat OT ade pakar araf.. kasi epidural.. Dr Fatima ade dat time calming me.. die soh peluk bantal and duduk mcm udang.. yesh.. die ckp mcm tu.. and dari pembacaan i.. mmg most Dr's ckp mcm tu.. die ckp "sakit skit ye sayang.. sorry ye"  saspen nye laa.. skali die cucuk kat tulang blakang tu.. adoi laa.. sakit gile.. tp for a few seconds je..

lepas tu baring.. sambil baring tu diorg siap2 kan smue.. then baru bobo bleh masuk bilik tu.. hehe.. klaka tgk bobo pakai baju hospital.. hihi.. then bobo sat on my right side.. pegang tgn.. mase tu rase hepi sedih saspen smue ade.. yg plg tak besh nampak reflection kat lampu and almari cermin kat sebelah kanan.. tanye bobo.. dah start ke operate.. bobo ckp blom.. few minutes after that ter laa tgk kat reflection kat lampu tu.. nampak tgn Dr cam ade darah2.. mak aihhh.. ngeri.. pastu tanye lagi bobo "dah start ke?" hehehe.. klaka je plak.. perut kene potong tp tatau dah ke blom.. pastu bobo ckp dh start.. mase tu grip tgn die kuat2.. takot sgt.. cam nk nangis.. tp bobo ckp "i love u" rase relaxed skit *terharu skali*die pon grip tgn kuat2.. so rase cam selamat sgt.. then lepas diorg smue abes cite pasal Raya laa beraye sini laa sane laa mkn ni laa tu laa.. anak diorg buat tu laa ni laa.. huhu.. saba jelaa kan? Dr suruh bobo bediri dpn.. suruh tgk baby klua.. then Dr saraf tadi pegang bahu i and said.. skit je ye.. then die pegi kat perut tah ape die buat.. mase tu rase cam badan gegar2.. lepas operation tu baru laa bobo cite upenye diorg ramai2 tarik perut gue kasi longgar hokke! mmg stok tarik cam kite nak koyak kain tu.. "awak ni byk exercise ke? perut awak ni ketat betul!" Dr fatima ckp.. haha! nk ketawe je dgr.. salah org je tau Dr ni tanye camtu.. hahahaha! Dr ckp this is the 1st clean operation yg pernah die buat.. sbb takde satu titik darah or air pon on the floor.. sbb kurang waterbag die kate.. skali ade org kat pintu OT jerit.. breath in breath out! pastu ketawe.. Dr Syed.. Dr for baby dah ready to take the baby..few minutes pastu dgr sore baby.. skali je bunye wekk.. pastu senyap.. then Dr syed trus ambik.. brape minute pastu dgr laa baby menangis.. hepi nyeee... trus tanye Dr Fatima girl ke boy? hehe.. Dr suruh tgk sndri.. takot nnt salah info die kate.. huhu.. then nurse bawak baby jumpe.. baby nangis kuat sgt.. but then the nurse put him beside me.. i kissed the baby and laga my nose against his.. die trus senyap.. and trus becakap.. as if mengadu ngan i.. alaa.. so sweet.. menangis trus tym tu.. smue nurses pon cam excited sgt "die ckp ngan mak diee..." tuhan je tau sronok nye tym tu..

after that diorg jahit tak lame.. at 1pm++ mcm tu selesai dah.. baby was born at 12:32pm.. mase masuk bilik stil numb dr pinggul ke kaki.. tp petang tu dh start rase bius kurang and sakit skit.. Dr suruh byk begerak but the rest of the time asyik baring je.. mmg tak larat.. org plak ramai dtg visit.. tak dpt rest sgt.. tp to anyone yg still looking for a hospital to give birth.. mmg i suggest pegi laa KJMC and consult with Dr Fatima Najla.. die sgt lah bagus and sgt soft spoken.. and the nurses there are soo0o0o0o frenly and berhati2 ngan kite.. smue nurse KJMC bagus2.. mmg tak menyesal walopon agak expensive sbb c-sect kan..but atleast tak smpi 10k tu murah laa nak beza kan ngan hospital lain.. now operation dh ok.. dh nak hilang pon skit tande nye.. yelaa sebulan dh pon kan.. okla.. baby pon behave harini.. tido dgn nyenyak nye.. jap lagi next checkup kat KJMC utk baby nyer rotavirus injection.. nitey nite..

makin trase.. smue org cam buat keje ye tak ye dan tak dan.. huhu.. pasang lagu raya dok repeat 80x pon takpe asal sinang hati.. huhu.. smue mood pasa mlm.. dok beborak tak hengat.. aku layan cushion baru beli kat ikea semlm.. sedap woo... siap tetido2.. mmg gobuuuu.. taun ni opis kedekut.. kasi sampul duit raya doploh jek.. sana jelaa.. kaler cekelat.. tak menarik lgsg.. tp takpe aa.. aku tak tentu lagi nk kasi duit raye.. wakakaka..

ramai plak org lalu lalang.. potong stim nak apdet.. harini teramat laa malas nk keje di ptg hari.. masuk kol 3 je dh tebayang balik umah.. huhu.. nasib arini pose.. em.. org lain bz kenape aku free? rase cam tak buat keje je.. padehal mmg tade keje.. huhu.. camno tu? ade sorg budak opis ni.. suke meng UP kan boypren sndiri.. so.. sml saje je cite pasal duit raye yg kitorg cam tak dpt pon ni.. pastu ckp laa.. bobo ade laa dpt boss die kasi sorg seratus.. ok laa.. skali dgn eksyen nye die ckp.. "o0o0o boyfren X dpt 400".. ape citooo..tah2 ko kene kencing lagi ngan boypren ko yg mmg kuat kencing tu.. haih.. nk gak compete ngan haku.. tak paham gue..

sepanjang koje baru ni rase.. idop mmg sorg2.. kiri kanan tade org.. kene asingkan oleh leader.. dgn alasan nk monitor aku laa snan wat keje laa.. padehal sepatah haram pon tak penah beckp ngan haku.. aku jadi cam kere sumbang dah dok sni sorg2 dlm cocoon aku.. huhu.. takpe laa.. takde keje temonung yolaahh.. tadi kak mum kate aku nmpk gumuk.. gumuk kah? aiyo!! kaki dah mule bengkak.. alaa.. tp byk sgt shopping yg still blom di settlekan.. camne laa...

what kind of friend call u call a real friend? how well do know a person to call them ur friend.. mmg kawan ade mcm2 jenis kawan.. but can u tolerate with friends yg gune u to take care of their shits? i know officemates can't be considered as real friends sbb diorg just kwn di opis.. unless kite build a relationship outside of the office utk jadi lebey dr kwn opis.. jadi real friend.. yes aku merapu.. the thing is i'm pissed.. i'm a pissed pregnant mummy.. u wont wanna mess with me.. huhu..

kan skang dah buat keje lain.. my job is like.. buat support.. nk kate 2nd level not really.. tp lebey kurang mcm support 1st level buat keje.. the thing is this ppl.. diorg pk diorg kwn ngan kite.. they take advantage and suruh kite buat keje diorg sedangkan diorg kat dpn main uno laa main internet games laa.. aku ni ape? kuli.. mmg bobo marah.. die ckp.. knp kasi muke.. but.. i seriously dunno what to do.. klu kat office lame dlu.. mmg dah kene hamun dah diorg ni.. but kat sni.. aku still baru.. aku still contract.. so.. im not sure.. where's my limit.. i'm lost..

since yesterday until today.. si minah i used to call a fren ni.. dok sibuk soh aku buat koje die.. tak paham knp budak2 ni slalu komplen kasteme marah2 diorg.. esp kastemer J*M.. tatau laa nasib aku ni baik ke ape.. but all this while utk baru 2bln buat keje ni.. kasteme smue baik ngan aku.. siap bagi nasihat +ve thinking lagi.. siap tanye name aku 2 3 kali and thanking me for my concerns.. so what's the problem? u just have to know how to tackle customers on the phone! u have to know how to use ur tone.. how to use ur volume.. ckp slowly.. klu ko ckp pon cam haram jadah.. u expect d customer puas ati? dh keje lame tak penah pegi customer service training ke??

baru japni plak.. sorg mamat ni.. who i consider dah close laa.. amboi2 dahlaa aku br dpt tau die ngan minah ni blakang aku besekongkol ngutuk aku kate aku tak reti buat keje (which aku baru buat for 2 freakin months!) then bleh plak msg aku ckp "pas jumaat ni mungkin ade hal.. ko flwup kan log aku ye ngan user"  waklu! lu baya gaji gua ke?? and yg geram nak tanak i have to do it.. sbb if i dont d bosses will look around for me! bukan diorg! sbb aku support!! pemalas nye manusia dan ambik kesempatan atas frenship yg aku kasi ni utk gune aku.. what the fook! i think keje ni bleh run smooth if i have ppl yg jujur bekerja around me.. not some crazy bunch of cows yg hari2 komplen.. knp org ni cpt naik pangkat aku tak.. kwn aku tak.. org yg kipas leh naik.. bla bla bla.. common laa wey.. of coz u have to kipas utk naik..! mane2 pon same.. yg ko nk komplen org ni kipas lebey org ni tak knp? tu hak die.. and dr ape yg die buat die naik pangkat.. okla.. atleast diorg kipas tunjuk yg diorg buat keje! bukan cam ko asyik2 mogok tanak wat keje main game. mmg laa ko takkan naik.. what d'ya expect???

huh.. enuff ngan puting beliung and lets tell about sumthing else.. smlm was the 2nd time in my life my manager puji.. walopon lepas kes aku dok ngompat leader aku ter leak kat tlinge die dlu.. aku bejaye bersih kan balik name aku.. mrs manager ckp seken tym ni camni

Mrs manager : so camne? cramp dah ok? (haritu mc)
moi : ok dah mrs manager.. *smile*
Mrs manager : so mcm mane keje skang? ok?
moi : buat mase ni ok laa sbb dh ade tau skit2
Mrs manager : saye tgk awak mmg ade byk sgt2 improvement.. no complaints from J*M and reporting team.. very good nmpk dh byk improve..
moi : *membuak2+senyum kontrol*
Mrs manager : mcm ni.. nanti Mrs manager  bgtau Mrs Leader utk pemenen kan awak secepat mungkin laa.. samada bukan ni atau bulan dpn ye? i hope u keep up d good work. jgn nnt dah pemenen buat plak perangai trus turun performance!
moi : *smile* ok insyaAllah Mrs manager.. *smile again*
Mrs manager : *pat-pat on the shoulder and smiler* keep up the good job..

yesss.. i was smiling until my face feel sore.. wakakaka.. hepi gile.. then checked my mail.. mase tu baru sgt smpi office.. around 8am++ check2.. email "jadual raya 2009" saspen ni.. lepas ke takkk cuti ni.. tgk2 smue cuti diluluskan!! yeppaaaaaaaaaa.... another gud news.. 1st time beraye.. after bape tahun dah keje on raya day.. sonok sgt! maybe ni la org kate rezeki baby kan? hope there's more to come-rezeki.

lame2 tak apdet skali kasi secepuk.. smpi kebas rase otak.. brain freeze.. harini dh start tak pose.. alahai sayang.. sbb haritu pose.. bdn weak sgt sgt sgt sgttttt.. dunno y.. smpi menggeletar cam nak pengsan ke mati ke tatau ler.. alhamdulillah dh tak jadi lagi.. tp knp laaa bulan pose ni ramai sgt yg cirit birit including me.. adehh.. seksa woo.. rmbt dh cam ape.. lame tak potong.. nk simpan pjg.. tp tak trim2.. takot tak larat nk dok kat kosi salon lame2.. hari2 kene perli ngan org kat opis ni rambut tak terurus.. lantak laa labu....! oklaa.. nk titun sattt 15 minutes..

i need to make some changes.. i'm bored with the sam colour.. i need to get my self sum pastel background.. which suits my current mood.. tp mak laa haih.. malas nye nak bace coding2 ini.. isk isk.. even my ticker pon tak apdet lagi ni.. i wish dat i wld not feel as lazy as i am rite now..

i tot i can make it.. i can get through all of dis madness.. bleh tahan keje baru ni.. but nampaknye.. makin hari makin tak enjoy.. apo nk buek ni... blog ni baru laa harini bleh masuk.. if not.. not work related.. blocked forebe and ebe.. walopon after ofc hour.. wattakwan btolll...

klaka bile tgk ppl starting their nw blog.. klaka tgk bile org baru nk excited ade blog mcm zaman dolu2 mase tgh havoc smue ber blog.. rase cam.. those days dah lame lepas.. sgt basi je.. the senior bloggers i know pon smue dh slow down.. the momma's, girlfriends, bride to be.. etc.. smue dh slow down.. ade plak a fren of mine ni br excited nk buat blog.. sia bgtau satu fb.. haha.. cam klaka plak rase..

i kept thinking of changing to another blog.. tp.. ya Allah sayang nye kat blog inih.. suke duke lara.. huhuhu.. i'm bored.. help me.. suggest me a blog yg menarik dibace.. selain dr peberet2 yg sedia ade.. huaaa... owh shit.. she's back.. she's in the ofc.. mls nye nak layan si minah ni..